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Instagram is a nice place to pretend you have it all together

Instagram is a nice place to pretend you have it all together
Instagram is a nice place to pretend you have it all together



Look at my Instagram feed. I mean LOOK AT IT. Artsy, well-lit, timely photos from my adventures this summer. I’m proud of it, honestly. Proud of my ability to make it seem like my life is 100% together and fabulous, when this is just a snapshot of the best moments. It’s 2017 and we all know this. We all know the pictures shared on social media only make the cut after taking 99 others, and that none of the messy homes or hours working or struggles are shared. Why be negative or air your dirty laundry when you have an epic picture next to a mountain or on a beach? The choice is obvious. Post the picture that makes it look like you have it all together.

But even so, can I just take a moment to reel it in and shout from my unmade bed at 6:30pm on a Friday where I’m currently laying because I just missed my workout class, “HOLY HELL I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I’M DOING AND I REALLY HOPE THE REST OF YOU DON’T EITHER”

When I take a step back, I know in my heart of hearts every person I follow on social media occasionally feels the way I do. They are only sharing the highlights. The mediocrity and low moments are hidden from view. And yet when I have a particularly terrible day (today!) , I look at other people’s feeds and feel awful. I CAN NOT SHAKE IT. I know they can’t possibly have it all figured out, but good God, it really seems like you all do.

Bloggers are the worst. All of you fitness bloggers, recipe bloggers, lifestyle bloggers, mommy bloggers, etc. I am looking at you. I’m writing this for a blog (can we say irony), but it kills me how effortless you all make quitting your day job and writing and photographing for a LIVING seem. Like forget comparing bodies of Susy Lou Who I played volleyball with in 8th grade. I compare people’s careers and aspirations, and feel as if I’ve accomplished nothing noteworthy or of passion in my entire adult life.

Then I think, does anyone look at my posts on social media or read my blog and feel a similar envy or loathing pit of disappointment in themselves? I doubt it since I’m definitely NOT paid to do anything exciting like write or Instagram. But if for some reason one person ever did/does/will – please know my life is not as glamorous or exciting as my Instagram photos. I have created a good life. Something that frankly, my Instagram feed, does remind me of. I live in a beautiful place and save money for fun weekend adventures with friends and family, and try to travel as often as possible – but to keep it REALLY real…

  • 1. My husband has been gone for 6 months and counting and I have reached the point where not thinking of him and his absence is more comforting than to dwell on it. I have to practically make myself forget how amazing it is when he’s around.


  • 2. My career/job/work life is currently awful. I’ll save you (and me) the gory details. Honestly, attempting to maintain a career while your husband is active duty military is a joke. Imagine hiking a mountain with the peak being something trivial like “spending more than 3 years at the same job you love” but the path randomly disappears from view forcing you in the wrong direction or to make a split second decision, or in some cases – the path collapses underneath you mid-hike to a ravine below. That’s what’s it’s like being married to a soldier and trying to have your own career.


  • 3.Though I’ve reached a really healthy relationship with food in the last year, I’ve also been maintaining a weight that I am not used to and often uncomfortable seeing. It’s a healthy weight for me, but it’s not the toned, bean-pole I was at 21 or 22 so that just creates a whole plethora of self esteem issues.

I could go on, but I also want to keep some of my dignity by the time I finish this post.

Moral of the story? Life is really hard, but you know what’s not hard? Cultivating a feed of images to make it seem like you have it all together.

I do not have it together. I not-so-secretly hope you do not, and I really hope those bloggers do not. Maybe it’s a sad thing to wish, but I like to think we’re all in the trenches together struggling to figure out our careers, our relationships, and our selves.

And in the midst of each our struggles, finding a little light and a little laughter.



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